Bereavement

The heart of my practice has always been my work with those who have lost loved ones. There is no greater pain in this world. Bereavement therapy has come a long way. We have learned that grief doesn’t happen on a time table. It is a process as unique as you are. It is most healing to share your loss, whether it be in a bereavement group or one on one. I have been privileged to work with men, women and children who have lost parents, siblings, relatives and friends.

Unresolved grief can lead to depression, substance abuse and even suicide. In my work with the New York City Fire Department after September 11th, all my skills were tested. These brave men and women were not only grieving, but truly traumatized as well. Most death is traumatic, but sudden, unexpected death carries with it the need to work through one’s trauma before even beginning the grieving process.

Children experience loss differently according to their developmental age. It is essential to discover the individual child’s beliefs about his or her loss, as children engage in what is known as “magical thinking”, which may lead to detrimental distortions in their minds.

I am currently writing a Bereavement Handbook which I hope will be helpful to the general public as well as professionals. My own grief over the loss of my son Jesse, and the grief of all the thousands of people who have blessed my life over the past 20 years have taught me a great deal.

Some Thoughts of the Grief-stricken:

1. Am I going crazy?
2. I can’t remember things
3. I’m having trouble focusing
4. I don’t care about all the stupid little things around me anymore.
5. Why am I still here and he is gone?
6. I don’t care if I live or die.
7. Why can’t I stop crying? Why can’t I cry?
8. The world is so fast and noisy.
9. This cannot be true!
10. I will never be the same.